Typically with couples, it’s about communication. Often they need to learn how to communicate their unmet needs in a vulnerable way, which can be hard. Sometimes, they need insight into what has been creating the distance between them; sometimes past trauma is a hindrance; and of course, sometimes it’s about sex and intimacy.
I spend time getting to know each member of the couple. I might request an individual session with each as it’s important I understand the issues they brought to the current relationship from past relationships (exes, friends, family of origin, etc.) and how they contribute to the current cyclical traps.
Because I have expertise in substance abuse, I work with many couples in which one person has an addiction and then the issues are codependency, enabling, rebuilding trust and healing of resentments.
I currently use techniques from Sue Johnson’s work with Emotionally Focused Therapy.